Comparing ourselves to others is self-defeating. It causes us not to see our self as a separate person with individual strengths and abilities. Then, comparing our self to another person leads us to think that the other person has no faults and that we should be like that person. Therefore, this causes one to feel less than and leads to self-criticism, which further undermines self-esteem. So, would it be important to you to release comparison now?
Recognize how one learns comparison.
We learned comparison from authority figures growing up, beginning with our parents comparing us with our siblings. Then, when we started to school, teachers expanded it comparing us to other students. Some may have continued to compare us with our siblings. We received messages such as, “Why don’t you? Why can’t you?, or Why aren’t you?” Constant and continuous comparison led us to repeat the messages and believe them. Therefore, we habit of comparing ourselves with others.
How and why you want to stop comparing yourself.
Are any two people alike? Do identical twins have the same physical characteristics or personality? Each of us is born with certain natural abilities, and thus we perform tasks that call for them easier.
Then, if you discover you are comparing yourself with another person, you want to challenge the comparison by asking yourself, “Does the person I am comparing myself to have more training or experience than I do?” To compare a person who has less training or experience with another person who has more training or experience is unfair.
In addition, ask yourself, “Is this person performing to his potential? Am I doing my best”? Do you recall a fellow student in school growing up who the teachers considered gifted? Did he achieve at her or his potential? Did he go out in the world and perform at his potential? If a person is doing his best, although he has not reached his potential, he has excelled at a degree, which the other person has not. Then if you are doing your best, why not give yourself credit for what you have achieved and are achieving?
To stop comparing yourself to others, say to yourself, “I am not her or him. This is who I am.” Challenging the comparison separates you, where you begin and end, from the other person. Doing this demands that you know your strengths and abilities and your weaknesses.
Acknowledge your skills and abilities.
When we know we possess certain strengths and abilities and that they helped us to meet our goal(s), we feel worthwhile. When we realize the strength or versatility of our skills and abilities, we know what makes us unique and valuable to the world. There is no reason for comparison.
If you would like to empower yourself and feel better about yourself, act to eliminate comparison.
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©Dorothy Wehunt and https://lifecoachwehunt.com 2021.