Does uncertainty in life cause you to ask yourself, “Will I be able to handle or cope with this?” and undermine your self-esteem, confidence and thus your success?
Uncertainty is part of life. Worrying about what can or will happen will not prevent something from happening. So how do we overcome the fear of the unknown?
• Take control of your emotions. – Come from a place of power rather than from a victim state of helplessness and hopelessness.
• Be Proactive. – Ask yourself, “What can I do? What options do I have?” Doing what one can do allows one to be able to let go of feeling helpless. Taking action that is under one’s control, that one is able to do, helps one to feel confident and capable.
• Give yourself positive self-talk. – Develop statements around what you can do and create new self-talk to move forward. Doing so is focusing on the known. Doing what you know you can do, the known, builds confidence. It gives hope helping to reduce feelings of helplessness.
• Set goals. – You want to set goals each day and focus on taking the needed action to achieve them. When we are busy being productive, our mind does not have time to worry.
• Forgive your mistakes. – If something does not work out, look at what you did right and what you can learn to have success. Do not beat up on yourself. Everyone makes mistakes at one time or another.
Overcome uncertainty and build the self-esteem and confidence to gain your desired success.
When we have peace of mind, we are not in an adversarial relationship with our lives and ourselves. When we can know and feel we can handle our daily life free of anxiety, we are confident. Thus, we like and respect ourselves.
Here are the steps that lead to peace of mind:
Focus on Your Goals – Begin your day by focusing on your goals. Choose to take the positive actions that will bring you closer to your goal.
Live in the Present – If you give your attention to doing your best, you make today the best day ever. Generate positive thoughts and put images of the past behind you. After doing this daily for a period-of-time, the past remains there.
Release Negative Self-talk- Reframe a self-defeating thought with a self-promoting thought. Choose thoughts that help you feel worthy, deserving, appreciative, capable, and happy.
Assert Yourself – Approach your goals with an energetic, enthusiastic boldness and determination. Yet, avoid being confrontational and belligerent. To be assertive, you meet your needs while respecting the rights and needs of others. The intent of assertiveness is to lead to a win-win. Assertiveness does not step on the toes of others to meet one’s needs.
Overcome Indecision – Set goals based on your previous successes. When you do, you believe in your abilities. You have references. Thus, you feel capable and confident. You trust your abilities to achieve success. Thus, you decide to act to reach your goals.
Forgive yourself – To do so, let go of feelings of inferiority. This means you forgive your mistakes. You want to forgive on a daily basis. Doing so allows you to let go of daily irritation. Feeling irritated on a continuous basis becomes self-destructive. When you forgive yourself for past thoughts, actions, and mistakes, you live in the present.
Let Go of Doubt – Acknowledge your past successes. Identify the strengths and abilities that helped you to achieve them. When you do, you know that you own your strengths. Thus, you believe in your abilities and yourself.
Accept What Is – Focus on what you can control. If something does not work out, look at what you can do to make it better.
To have peace of mind, make the decision now to take the needed action that will give it to you.
Many people feel comfortable in some situations and uncomfortable in others. Do you feel good about yourself wherever you are and with whomever you come in contact? Or are there some situations where you wish you felt more confident? If your answer to the latter is yes, you want to read ‘Why Choose High Self-Esteem,’ the first chapter of my book, Choose to Have High Self-Esteem.
This chapter on ‘Why Choose High Self-Esteem’ explains why self-esteem is important to all areas of one’s life. In addition, the references and explanation given help people to see that having healthy self-esteem is good . Thus, they choose to make the decision to gain greater self-esteem.
Personal and Professional Benefits-Here are some authorities who cite the benefits of having self-esteem. Norman Vincent Peale points out that self-esteem is the secret to success. Robert Collier explains how it influences the degree of success. Also, Clement Stone speaks of self-esteem in the role of communication. Then, Bonaro Overstreet addresses its value in conflict. In addition, Nathaniel Branden and Les Giblins speak to how self-esteem affects one’s success. Finally, Sidney Simon is specific in how it affects one’s well-being.
Besides, Joyce Brothers points out its importance to performance. ‘Why Choose to High Self-Esteem’ gives examples to illustrate this point. These examples will help you to assess or identify ways it can help you to gain greater success.
Benefits illustrated– ‘Why Choose High Self-Esteem’ discusses how people with high self-esteem feel about themselves and function. It gives many examples to illustrate this. Some are entering the work force, pursuing a dream or goal(s), performing a task and making decisions. Too, it discusses how self-esteem helps one to take care of oneself and protect one’s esteem and dignity. Moreover, it describes how it affects interaction in both one’s personal and professional life.
If you would like greater self-esteem and success, you want to click here find out how to get your copy of this book.
When you were a child growing up, did your mother or father wake you up by gently shaking you and saying, “Rise up and Shine.”? If so, you probably knew that meant to pay attention to your teacher today, make good grades, and don’t get in trouble. So, you learned it meant, “Do your best.”
“Rise Up to Yourself,” the first chapter in my book, Rise Up to Yourself, Greater Success Awaits tells how being your best self includes or involves more than just using your training in a subject to do your job. Second, it describes how developing and using soft skills will help you to be your best self and thus enhance your self-esteem, your personal and professional success and your life. Third, it tells you what you want to look for as you read each chapter so you can apply the information on a daily basis to feel good about yourself and to achieve your desired success.
I wrote this book because I, like many others I have met in life, wished I had been aware of these non-technical skills and their importance and power and/or how to use them effectively earlier I life. Doing so, I feel, would have helped me to avoid some mistakes and achieve more or greater in life.
If you would like to have gain greater self-esteem, confidence and success, you want to click here..
What are you telling yourself right now? Our self-talk, verbally or silently, empowers or disempowers us and thus builds or undermines one’s self-esteem and self-confidence. How does it do that? It determines our:
Feelings – What we tell ourselves, about daily situations influence how we feel — sad or happy, worried or anxious, frustrated, or fearful. The thoughts we hold about our value as a person affect whether we feel we are worthy or worthwhile and deserving.
Belief in our abilities – How we choose to view our accomplishments determines how successful we feel. If we think our strengths can benefit us, we feel capable. Thus, we “feel enough.”
Decision-making and choices – The way we define ourselves depends upon who or what we think we are. What we think or believe about our abilities determines whether or not we make the decision to set and pursue goals and what goal(s) we decide to set and action(s) we choose to take. Whether we decide to forgive our mistakes depends on whether we live in the present and focus our thoughts on our successes, what we did right or what worked out, and our goals.
Motivation – If we give ourselves encouraging and positive messages about our strengths and abilities that cause us to believe in our abilities and thus ourselves, we feel inspired to take action.
Assertion – When we feel worthwhile, we feel we deserve success. When we believe in our abilities, we trust ourselves to pursue our goals. We have developed an “I can” attitude. Thus, we take action to meet our goals.
Risk-taking – Challenges often occur that require us to do something differently if we want to reach our goal to achieve our desired success. If we feel deserving of success and believe in our strengths, we trust them to overcome the challenges to reach our goal and gain success.
If you want greater self-esteem and self-confidence, you want to decide to choose the thoughts that you need to think on a daily basis to do so.
Presence is a catalyst for task accomplishment and creating success. When we live in the present, we give our full attention to and engage in what is going on in the now. Doing so promotes task or goal achievement and successful outcomes. Each time we complete a task, we gain confidence in our capability and thus in our ability to reach our goals. We like ourselves. To create greater success, we want to take a closer look at the relationship between presence and our success and self-esteem.
When we focus on the job that needs doing, we know what it involves. We know what we need to do first to complete the task and to do so successfully. Some tasks require doing the steps of the task sequentially for successful completion. For example, using a recipe to make a cake from scratch usually has directions that call for specific ingredients and adding them in a certain sequence since doing so affects the outcome of the cake most of the time. On the other hand, if a task does not require a step-by-step process for completing it, some people perform the part of the task they consider the easiest to do first. Some other people do the difficult part of the task first to get it out of the way. Thus, we know how to begin, and we start.
However, if a person focuses on future challenges that might occur along the way, what ifs or what could go wrong, the person hinders, and possibly keeps, her or himself from beginning the task. The same is true if a person worries about the outcome or end results. If one does, one undermines one’s confidence and task or goal achievement and thus success.
When we fully engage in the step of the task at hand, we are less likely to make mistakes. We accomplish the task successfully and say to ourselves “Yes” or “Good job.” Thus, we feel capable of performing the next step in the task. Each step we complete leads to the next step. With the successful completion of each step, the more capable and confident we feel. Therefore, our self-esteem grows.
In addition, presence helps us to know how to contribute to a conversation or work discussion or how to introduce our ideas to have them considered. When we give our attention to what others say, verbally and nonverbally, not what we want to say, we are better able to understand the beliefs a person holds and the intensity of the belief or conviction. How receptive or whether others are receptive to what we have to say depends on the strength of their conviction. Therefore, we know if we want to share our viewpoint or idea and how to share it to have it better understood. The more we can present our viewpoint or idea from their frame of reference the more likely we will have it considered and the less conflict we will incur. The earlier we have this awareness the better. Thus, presence helps us to communicate effectively to gain influence and build relationships.
If you want to complete tasks successfully with ease and communicate to gain influence to experience greater success, you want to practice living in the moment beginning today. If you do, you will also experience greater self-esteem.
We want to know and feel we can reach our desired goals, express our opinions, and handle criticism, conflict and difficult situations to feel okay.
The negative feedback, verbal or nonverbal, one receives from parents, teachers, and peers, growing up sets the stage for feelings of adequacy. If a person receives put-downs or negative nonverbal, when she or he asks questions or gives his opinion, more than likely, the person experiences self-doubt. Thus, he experiences feelings of “not enough” and “not good enough.” Whether the person stops participating or speaking up in groups depends on the severity and consistency of the put-downs.
However, each of us has the power and right of choice and the freedom to choose. Then, each of us can choose our thoughts. Therefore, we do not have to accept the opinions of others. Choosing what we like and dislike – the food we eat, the style and color of clothes we wear, and movies we watch – helps one to release feelings of inadequacy and feel more capable.
Because we have the ability to think for ourselves, we can look at the tasks we perform each day in our personal and professional lives and what skills and abilities it takes to do them. Therefore, we can choose how we view our accomplishments and thus our qualities, strengths, abilities, and weaknesses based our assessment. Hence, we can decide what we believe about our capability and release feelings of inadequacy.
Since we can think and decide for ourselves, we can choose what task to pursue and how to pursue it to get the best results. We can decide what task to perform first to feel confident and to reach a goal on time
We can choose how we handle situations, whether we react or respond. If one reacts, one allows emotions to control one’s life. When you choose to respond, you put you in control of yourself and your emotions. You protect your dignity. You have taken care of yourself. Thus, you feel competent.
Think of the tasks you do at home and at work and the skills you use to complete them successfully. Be sure to include intangible skills such as determination and patience, which most tasks require. Consider how the things you do meet your daily, wants, and goals and how they benefit others. When you do this, you acknowledge the value of what you do, and thus realize your capability. Thus, you release feelings of inadequacy.
Ask yourself, “What skills do I use doing these things that I can use to do something new or different?” If you expand the use of your skills to new and different tasks and situations, you strengthen your skills and develop new skills. Thus, you affirm your capability to you. You feel more capable and confident.
Moreover, we have the ability to choose to listen to our gut or inner voice. When you do, you know that you know. You know what you can do, not what others have told you that you can and cannot do. When you follow your inner wisdom, you trust yourself. You do not second guess yourself. Therefore, you feel enough.
Assertiveness is a powerful form of communication that you can you can use to take care of yourself while building positive relationships. If you use it correctly and appropriately on a regular basis, you build self-esteem to the degree that you:
Express your needs and wants – If you ask for what you want using assertiveness, you are telling the other person, “I count” or “I matter.” Doing so is giving yourself respect. If the other person honors your request, you enhance your self-respect even more.
Stand up for yourself – When you stand up for yourself, you are protecting your rights or from taking advantage of you. Each of us has rights. Standing up for your rights is respecting yourself and showing others how to respect you.
Assert decisions – Taking action(s) to meet your needs and wants, reach your goals, and stand up for yourself is taking responsibility for your life.
Validate yourself – When you state your needs, wants, feelings, opinions, thoughts, or beliefs, and concerns to others, you affirm who you are.
Take control of your emotions – Express your needs and wants and say No to get them met and live by your values. Doing so prevents you from feelings of frustration, stress, bitterness, resentment, anger, etc., which leads to aggressive or negative behavior. You gain respect and gain or increase self-respect.
Protect yourself – Saying No to keep someone from taking advantage of you or rescuing you prevents you from becoming a victim. Expressing your strengths to affirm your competence in the workplace can protect your job. With sincere and honest words, you can handle criticism effectively to disarm it and affirm yourself to avoid internalizing the criticism. Using communication to own your feelings and perspectives, not to transfer or impose them on others, prevents external conflict and the associated stress. Expressing your needs, opinions, feelings, rights, etc. and saying no to meet your needs keeps you from beating up on yourself for not doing so.
Be true to yourself– Saying “Yes” and “No” to meet your needs and wants and live by your values is saying YES to yourself. It is living with integrity.
Bring balance to your life – Saying “Yes” and “No” brings stability and peace to your life.
If you begin asserting yourself today, you will notice that you feel better about yourself.
Self-Reliance is knowing you can stand on your own two feet. It is listening to your inner guidance or nudges, etc., rather than to others or external factors. When you are self-reliant, you believe you can do what you need to become successful and take care of yourself. Then, self-reliance is an essential component for developing high self-esteem and confidence.
With self-reliance, you:
Relinquish the need for approval – You know you have the strengths and abilities to achieve success. Therefore, you pursue your goals and expectations, not those of others. Now, you know you no longer need the approval of others.
Feel motivated –You feel capable or “feel enough.” Therefore, you do not need outside stimulation.
Overcome procrastination – Because you trust your abilities, you have the confidence to tackle new and different tasks. You begin.
Handle situations – When problems occur, you are able to look at each situation as it actually is — the issues, the facts, the conditions, the consequences, etc., not as you would like them to be, to find the right, positive, workable solution.
Release worry – Since you trust your strengths and abilities, you trust yourself to meet any challenges that might occur on your path to success. Thus, you feel in control.
Let go of feelings of helplessness – You no longer have to depend on others or on what they are willing to do and when they are willing to do it.
Protect yourself – Inner-directed, you know you can take care of yourself. Thus, you take responsibility for your inspiration, emotions and reactions, success, livelihood, peace and happiness. When you do, no one lets you down.
Gain self-reliance and increase your self-esteem and self-confidence and thus your success, peace, and happiness.
Would you like to reach your goals in life and thus your success, do so easier and with less stress, and enhance your self-esteem and confidence?
Here are five strategies for successful goal achievement:
Set Realistic Goals – Develop goals based on your previous successes. You know you have the strengths and abilities to reach your goals. You have the inspiration and confidence to act to reach your goals.
Stay on Target – If thoughts of doubt stop your momentum, quickly recall previous successes to remind you of your “I can attitude,” so you continue to pursue your goal.
Live in the Present– A person cannot seize the opportunities of the present to reach their goal living in the past. So forgive your mistakes and let go of guilt. Only briefly visit the past to recall your successes and imagine yourself having similar successes in the present.
Affirm Yourself – Create self-talk around your strengths to reinforce your value to you. When you do, you feel you deserve success. Moreover, doing so helps you to avoid criticizing yourself around your weaknesses. In addition, this positive self-talk will inspire you to action, to focus on the good, to meet challenges that present themselves with confidence, and to expect positive results.
Handle Situations – If an obstacle presents itself, focus on your past successes. Remember challenges that you have overcome and trust your strengths, talents, skills, and inner wisdom to guide you to the right solutions to accomplish your goals. Using problem-solving strategies and asking questions provide structure and guidance to facilitate the process.
If you consider using these proven strategies today, you can build high self-esteem and confidence and thus increase your chance for success.