by Dorothy Wehunt
Let go of need for approval. Why?
“You only need your approval. Anyone else is a bonus.” Anonymous (Awaken the Greatest Within, 2015-2020, Accessed January 23, 2021. https://www.awakenthegreatnesswithin.com/35-inspirational-quotes-on-approval/ ) Therefore, you may want to continue to read this article to begin to do so.
Yet, many people feel everyone must like them. Thus, they think it is up to them to make sure others do like them.
Why one seeks approval
More than likely, they feel others liking them will cause them to feel okay. To feel enough. Or to like themselves.
So, they sacrifice their needs to meet the needs of other people hoping they will like them. They do things for others they do not want to do. And they do things to reinforce others. Moreover, they sacrifice who they are. They agree with others when they do not. Furthermore, sometimes they even sacrifice to their own detriment.
Let Go of Need for Approval-3 Reasons Why
“If you’re conscientiously seeking approval, you’re not being true to yourself.” Said Thomas Kalnostky. (Ibid)
So, suppose a person wants others to support her or his ideas. Yet, he is always agreeing or promoting the ideas of another. Then, he is sacrificing his goals and who he is. She or he is not acknowledging his idea. Thus, the person is giving, not receiving, approval.
And, if a person is always late to meet another person, is she or he giving the other person approval? This is truer if he is the one who sets the time.
And Wayne Dyer said, “People who want the most approval get the least and people who need approval the least get the most.” (ibid)
Respect and Self-Respect
“Once we give up searching for approval, we often find it easier to earn respect.” Gloria Steimen (Ibid.)
When a person neglects her/himself to gain others’ approval, he is losing approval and respect. He is telling the other person that he respects him more than he respects himself. Moreover, he is saying to the other person that his needs are more important to him than his own needs are to him. Or he is giving the other person the message that he is not equal to him. Furthermore, he is giving the other person permission to expect him to make him more important than he is to himself.
If one gives up one’s needs in order for another person to like her or him, one chooses to love the other person more than him/herself. Thus, she or he is not taking care of self. If fear, anger, and depression consume one’s life out of the need for others to sanction she or he is okay, one victimizes self.
“When you do not seek or need approval, you are the most powerful.” Carolyn Myss (Ibid.)
Freedom from Stress
A person who gives up his needs and wants and values to get along experiences inner conflict and stress. So, ask yourself, “Is the inner conflict I experience from not meeting my needs worth what I receive? The stress? Or the conflict? Sacrificing my needs? Then ask yourself, “How would it feel to be free from inner conflict and stress?”.
“To be brutally truthful, the removal of your noodle from seeking other people’s futile approval to be you, is one of the most beautiful steps to flight, where wings flap to freedom from so many deadly traps.” Curtis Tyrone Jones (Goodreads, Inc. 2020, January 23, 2021. https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/self-approval)
Then, I’m not going to tell you to decide to approve of and respect yourself as much as you do others. And thus let of the need for approval.
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