by Dorothy Wehunt
To respect ourselves we must find the best within us and live with our best selves. Then, we want to overcome the barriers to self-respect, so that we can begin to give ourselves the respect we desire.
Fear of the Unknown
Uncertainty is present in our lives every day. The weather changes. Changes occur at work — Lay-offs, mergers, bosses, and technology. These changes lead to a different way of doing things in the workplace. Society changes. Fear of uncertainty or the unknown
can lead to withdrawal, which keeps us from pursuing our dreams, interacting with others and making friends, and thus living a full life. On the other hand, learning to live with uncertainty helps us to develop strength and resilience and become resourceful.
Then, we are able to go out into the world to use our talents to pursue our goals and dream and contribute to the good of society. When we see our value to the world, we feel worthwhile. Thus, we have greater self-respect.
It is a combination of envy, revenge, pouting, and temper. When we feel bitterness toward others, they reply in like manner. If they become frustrated and/or angry with us because our feeling of bitterness led to their reaction, they may lash out at us for spreading negative feelings. This undermines self-respect. The resentment grows. Moreover, resentment intensifies and festers within a person and becomes self-destructive. A resentful person is not open to the views of others, which affects relationships and one’s influence with others; fears competition, which causes the person to withdraw from life; and feel stressed.
It comes from not knowing what to do with oneself. It is feeling that something is missing in one’s life. Some people may think the void in their lives comes from not having children, not getting married, not living in a different area, or not having a certain position or degree of career success. If you wish you were someone else, you are contributing to your feeling of emptiness.
And it is our responsibility to give meaning and purpose to our own life. Not to do so is rejecting yourself and forfeiting your self-respect. Therefore, you want to know yourself, your strengths, weaknesses, and qualities or characteristics that make you unique and accept yourself. Then, set goals based on them and pursue them.
Begin to eliminate these barriers today. To do so is to pave the way to give yourself the respect you deserve.
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