We want to know and feel we can reach our desired goals, express our opinions, and handle criticism, conflict, and difficult situations to feel okay. So, how do we release feelings of inadequacy?
The negative feedback, verbal or nonverbal, one receives from parents, teachers, and peers, growing up sets the stage for feelings of adequacy. If a person receives put-downs or negative nonverbal, when she or he asks questions or gives his opinion, more than likely, the person experiences self-doubt. Thus, he experiences feelings of “not enough” and “not good enough.” Whether the person stops participating or speaking up in groups depends on the severity and consistency of the put-downs.
So, what does one do to release feelings of inadequacy and feel enough?
Use your power to choose.
However, each of us has the power and right of choice and the freedom to choose. Then, each of us can choose our thoughts. Therefore, we do not have to accept the opinions of others. Choosing what we like and dislike – the food we eat, the style and color of clothes we wear, and movies we watch – helps one to release feelings of inadequacy and feel more capable.
Think for self.
Because we have the ability to think for ourselves, we can look at the tasks we perform each day in our personal and professional lives and what skills and abilities it takes to do them. Therefore, we can choose how we view our accomplishments and thus our qualities, strengths, abilities, and weaknesses based our assessment. Hence, we can decide what we believe about our capability and release feelings of inadequacy.
Since we can think and decide for ourselves, we can choose what task to pursue and how to pursue it to get the best results. We can decide what task to perform first to feel confident and to reach a goal on time
Respond to situations.
We can choose how we handle situations, whether we react or respond. If one reacts, one allows emotions to control one’s life. When you choose to respond, you put you in control of yourself and your emotions. You protect your dignity. You have taken care of yourself. Thus, you feel competent.
Know your strengths and thus value.
Think of the tasks you do at home and at work and the skills you use to complete them successfully. Be sure to include intangible skills such as determination and patience, which most tasks require. Consider how the things you do meet your daily, wants, and goals and how they benefit others. When you do this, you acknowledge the value of what you do, and thus realize your capability. Thus, you release feelings of inadequacy.
Expand your skills.
Ask yourself, “What skills do I use doing these things that I can use to do something new or different?” If you expand the use of your skills to new and different tasks and situations, you strengthen your skills and develop new skills. Thus, you affirm your capability to you. You feel more capable and confident.
Listen to your gut.
Moreover, we can choose to listen to our gut or inner voice. When you do, you know that you know. You know what you can do, not what others have told you that you can and cannot do. When you follow your inner wisdom, you trust yourself. You do not second guess yourself. Therefore, you feel enough.
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©Dorothy Wehunt and https://lifecoachwehunt.com 2021.