Many people feel comfortable in some situations and uncomfortable in others. Do you feel good about yourself wherever you are and with whomever you come in contact? Or are there some situations where you wish you felt more confident? If your answer to the latter is yes, you want to read ‘Why Choose High Self-Esteem,’ the first chapter of my book, Build Self-Esteem.
This chapter on ‘Why Choose High Self-Esteem’ explains why self-esteem is important to all areas of one’s life. In addition, the references and explanation given help people to see that having healthy self-esteem is good. Thus, they choose to make the decision to gain greater self-esteem.
When you were a child growing up, did your mother or father wake you up by gently shaking you and saying, “Rise up and Shine.”? If so, you probably knew that meant to pay attention to your teacher today, make good grades, and don’t get in trouble. So, you learned it meant, “Do your best.”
What are you telling yourself right now? Our self-talk, verbally or silently, empowers or disempowers us and thus builds or undermines one’s self-esteem and self-confidence. How does it do that? It determines our:
Feelings – What we tell ourselves, about daily situations influence how we feel — sad or happy, worried or anxious, frustrated, or fearful. The thoughts we hold about our value as a person affect whether we feel we are worthy or worthwhile and deserving.
We want to know and feel we can reach our desired goals, express our opinions, and handle criticism, conflict and difficult situations to feel okay.
The negative feedback, verbal or nonverbal, one receives from parents, teachers, and peers, growing up sets the stage for feelings of adequacy. If a person receives put-downs or negative nonverbal, when she or he asks questions or gives his opinion, more than likely, the person experiences self-doubt. Thus, he experiences feelings of “not enough” and “not good enough.” Whether the person stops participating or speaking up in groups depends on the severity and consistency of the put-downs.
Comparing ourselves to others is self-defeating. It cause us not to see our self as a separate person with individual strengths and abilities. Then, comparing our self to another person leads us to think that the other person has no faults and that we should be like that person. Therefore, this causes one ot feel less than and leads to self-criticism, which further undermines self-esteem.
Assertiveness is a powerful form of communication that you can you can use to take care of yourself while building positive relationships. If you use it correctly and appropriately on a regular basis, you build self-esteem to the degree that you:
Express your needs and wants – If you ask for what you want using assertiveness, you are telling the other person, “I count” or “I matter.” Doing so is giving yourself respect. If the other person honors your request, you enhance your self-respect even more.
Self-Reliance is knowing you can stand on your own two feet. It is listening to your inner guidance or nudges, etc., rather than to others or external factors. When you are self-reliant, you believe you can do what you need to become successful and take care of yourself. Then, self-reliance is an essential component for developing high self-esteem and confidence.
Would you like to reach your goals in life and thus your success, do so easier and with less stress, and enhance your self-esteem and confidence?
Here are five strategies for successful goal achievement:
Set Realistic Goals – Develop goals based on your previous successes. You know you have the strengths and abilities to reach your goals. You have the inspiration and confidence to act to reach your goals.
Self-awareness allows us to know what makes us feel good and what does not. When we know this, we can choose thoughts to “feel enough,” and to like ourselves. To develop greater self-awareness, you want to:
Notice Your Feelings – Your awareness of your feelings in your body – frustration, guilt, anxiety, disappointment, anger, depression, etc., in different situations– signal you to listen to what you are saying to yourself.
Self-esteem is the reputation one holds with oneself. It is appreciating one’s worth and feeling satisfied with who you are.
In addition, it is the main factor that influences one’s success. Maslow’s hierarchy of basic human needs and motivations indicates that it is essential that people gain self-esteem to be their best self, to reach their full potential, and achieve at the highest level.