Category: Self-Esteem and Self-Confidence

‘WHY CHOOSE HIGH SELF-ESTEEM’

Many people feel comfortable in some situations and uncomfortable in others. Do you feel good about yourself wherever you are and with whomever you come in contact? Or are there some situations where you wish you felt more confident? If your answer to the latter is yes, you want to read ‘Why Choose High Self-Esteem,’ the first chapter of my book, Choose to Have High Self-Esteem.

This chapter on ‘Why Choose High Self-Esteem’  explains why self-esteem is important to all areas of one’s life. In addition, the references and explanation given help people to see that having healthy self-esteem is good . Thus, they choose to make the decision to gain greater self-esteem.

Personal and Professional Benefits-Here are some authorities who cite the benefits of having self-esteem.  Norman Vincent Peale points out that self-esteem is the secret to success.   Robert Collier explains how it influences the degree of success.  Also, Clement Stone speaks of self-esteem in the role of communication.  Then, Bonaro Overstreet addresses its value in conflict.  In addition, Nathaniel Branden and Les Giblins speak to how self-esteem affects one’s success.  Finally, Sidney Simon is specific in how it affects one’s well-being.

Besides, Joyce Brothers points out its importance to performance. ‘Why Choose to High Self-Esteem’ gives examples to illustrate this point.  These examples will help you to assess or identify ways it can help you to gain greater success.

Benefits illustrated– ‘Why Choose High Self-Esteem’ discusses how people with high self-esteem feel about themselves and function. It gives many examples to illustrate this.  Some are entering the work force, pursuing a dream or goal(s), performing a task and making decisions. Too, it discusses how self-esteem helps one to take care of oneself and protect one’s esteem and dignity. Moreover, it describes how it affects interaction in both one’s personal and professional life.

If you would like greater self-esteem and success, you want to click here find out how to get your copy of this book.

 

©Dorothy Wehunt and https://lifecoachwehunt.com 2019 

“Rise Up to Yourself”

 

When you were a child growing up, did your mother or father wake you up by gently shaking you and saying, “Rise up and Shine.”? If so, you probably knew that meant to pay attention to your teacher today, make good grades, and don’t get in trouble. So, you learned it meant, “Do your best.”

“Rise Up to Yourself,” the first chapter in my book, Rise Up to Yourself, Greater Success Awaits tells how being your best self includes or involves more than just using your training in a subject to do your job. Second, it describes how developing and using soft skills will help you to be your best self and thus enhance your self-esteem, your personal and professional success and your life. Third, it tells you what you want to look for as you read each chapter so you can apply the information on a daily basis to feel good about yourself and to achieve your desired success.

I wrote this book because I, like many others I have met in life, wished I had been aware of these non-technical skills and their importance and power and/or how to use them effectively earlier I life. Doing so, I feel, would have helped me to avoid some mistakes and achieve more or greater in life.

If you would like to have gain greater self-esteem, confidence and success, you want to click here..

 

©Dorothy Wehunt and https://lifecoachwehunt.com 2019

Empower Yourself with Self Talk

What are you telling yourself right now? Our self-talk, verbally or silently, empowers or disempowers us and thus builds or undermines one’s self-esteem and self-confidence.  How does it do that? It determines our:

Feelings – What we tell ourselves, about daily situations influence how we feel — sad or happy, worried or anxious, frustrated, or fearful.  The thoughts we hold about our value as a person affect whether we feel we are worthy or worthwhile and deserving.

Belief in our abilities – How we choose to view our accomplishments determines how successful we feel. If we think our strengths can benefit us, we feel capable. Thus, we “feel enough.”

Decision-making and choices – The way we define ourselves depends upon who or what we think we are. What we think or believe about our abilities determines whether or not we make the decision to set and pursue goals and what goal(s) we decide to set and action(s) we choose to take. Whether we decide to forgive our mistakes depends on whether we live in the present and focus our thoughts on our successes, what we did right or what worked out, and our goals.

Motivation – If we give ourselves encouraging and positive messages about our strengths and abilities that cause us to believe in our abilities and thus ourselves, we feel inspired to take action.

Assertion – When we feel worthwhile, we feel we deserve success. When we believe in our abilities, we trust ourselves to pursue our goals. We have developed an “I can” attitude. Thus, we take action to meet our goals.

Risk-taking – Challenges often occur that require us to do something differently if we want to reach our goal to achieve our desired success. If we feel deserving of success and believe in our strengths, we trust them to overcome the challenges to reach our goal and gain success.

If you want greater self-esteem and self-confidence, you want to decide to choose the thoughts that you need to think on a daily basis to do so.

©Dorothy Wehunt and https://lifecoachwehunt.com 2019 

How to Overcome Fear of Failure

Many people allow fear of failure to keep them from their dream. Limiting self-talk around situations where they did not receive their desired results and negative feedback from others led to the fear of failure. How can one let go of fear of failure?

Choose Success – Make a conscious decision to set goals for the self-satisfaction of reaching them, not for just a paycheck. Doing so gives you a greater buy in for achieving success. You become committed to the goal achievement.

Find Your Uniqueness – When you realize your uniqueness — what qualities or traits, strengths, talents, skills and abilities that make up who you are — you know your value. You believe in yourself and believe you can achieve success.

Improve Your Handicap – What weakness is the greatest contributing factor to the fear of failure? Alternatively, what undeveloped area, if developed, would help you increase your chance of success and do so with the least resistance, and thus overcome fear of failure.? Developing new qualities and skills will help you to feel more capable and thus more confident to act to achieve success.

Forgive Your Mistakes – Remember, everyone makes mistakes. What did you learn from the mistake that can become a building block for success? Certainly, you want to give yourself credit for what you did that worked.

Create New Self-talk – Develop positive statements around your strengths, what you learned and what you did that worked and affirm yourself. To know and affirm your strengths is to own them which allows you to believe you can achieve success. Therefore, you let go of fear of failure.

Make Success a Habit – Set daily goals, and do what you need to do to reach them. In doing so, you develop a habit of setting and attaining goals — achieving success. Acknowledging successes increases self-confidence, which inspires you to set other goals and to take action to attain more or greater success

Love yourself enough to overcome fear of failure, and you will increase your self-confidence and gain success and greater self-respect.

©Dorothy Wehunt and https://lifecoachwehunt.com 2019 

Gain Success with Self-Discipline

“One of the most important keys to success is having the discipline to do what you know you should do, even when you don’t feel like doing it.” Unknown

In what situation or area of your life do you want or need more self-discipline? Do you have an action you need to take for your business? Maybe you need to make five sales calls a day to reach your career goal or posts five times a day on social media to attract new followers to gain potential clients.  On the other hand, is there a personal goal you would like to achieve, such as losing five pounds, reading one book every month or saving money for a house or your future?

Self-discipline helps us to begin tasks to finish them on time. Performing a task on time prevents us from worrying about doing it at the last minute and doing it well and thus reduces stress. Self-discipline puts us in control of our emotions and ourselves and thus in charge of our lives. Therefore, self-discipline gives us the gift of freedom.  

Then, how do we get ourselves to do the things we need to do to reach our goal to achieve our desired success? In high school, did you try out for cheerleading, despite any associated fear or anxiety of losing and feeling embarrassed, so that you could belong or receive recognition?  Possibly, you worked to achieve good grades to belong to the honor society or to feel proud of yourself for the accomplishment. Did you ever take a particular class that you did not want to take in high school because it was a prerequisite to attend college or for your career major for greater accomplishment and success?

Similarly, in the work environment, have you ever volunteered to work on a project or on the weekend to gain respect and thus influence? Maybe you played volleyball, golf, or baseball at work for the same reasons?

If you made one of the above choices or a similar one, did you sacrifice doing something that would have been more fun? Perhaps, you sacrificed spending time with friends or family.  If you did, the benefit you were going to receive caused you to view your choice to say NO not as self-denial.

Have you heard it said that we have self-discipline when we want to do something or when doing something makes us feel good about ourselves? Abraham Joshua Heschel said, “Self-respect is the root of discipline. The sense of dignity grows with the ability to say No to oneself.”   

Then, to have the self-discipline to choose to do what you need to do, you want to ask yourself, “If I say No to this, how will I say “Yes” to myself? How would saying No to this help me to feel proud, have greater confidence and live with dignity?”

©Dorothy Wehunt and https://lifecoachwehunt.com 2019.

Want to Live in the Present and Increase Your Self-Esteem and Gain Success

Presence is a catalyst for task accomplishment and creating success. When we live in the present, we give our full attention to and engage in what is going on in the now. Doing so promotes task or goal achievement and successful outcomes. Each time we complete a task, we gain confidence in our capability and thus in our ability to reach our goals. We like ourselves. To create greater success, we want to take a closer look at the relationship between presence and our success and self-esteem. 

When we focus on the job that needs doing, we know what it involves. We know what we need to do first to complete the task and to do so successfully. Some tasks require doing the steps of the task sequentially for successful completion. For example, using a recipe to make a cake from scratch usually has directions that call for specific ingredients and adding them in a certain sequence since doing so affects the outcome of the cake most of the time. On the other hand, if a task does not require a step-by-step process for completing it, some people perform the part of the task they consider the easiest to do first. Some other people do the difficult part of the task first to get it out of the way. Thus, we know how to begin, and we start.

However, if a person focuses on future challenges that might occur along the way, what ifs or what could go wrong, the person hinders, and possibly keeps, her or himself from beginning the task. The same is true if a person worries about the outcome or end results. If one does, one undermines one’s confidence and task or goal achievement and thus success.

When we fully engage in the step of the task at hand, we are less likely to make mistakes. We accomplish the task successfully and say to ourselves “Yes” or “Good job.” Thus, we feel capable of performing the next step in the task. Each step we complete leads to the next step. With the successful completion of each step, the more capable and confident we feel. Therefore, our self-esteem grows.

In addition, presence helps us to know how to contribute to a conversation or work discussion or how to introduce our ideas to have them considered. When we give our attention to what others say, verbally and nonverbally, not what we want to say, we are better able to understand the beliefs a person holds and the intensity of the belief or conviction. How receptive or whether others are receptive to what we have to say depends on the strength of their conviction. Therefore, we know if we want to share our viewpoint or idea and how to share it to have it better understood. The more we can present our viewpoint or idea from their frame of reference the more likely we will have it considered and the less conflict we will incur. The earlier we have this awareness the better. Thus, presence helps us to communicate effectively to gain influence and build relationships.

If you want to complete tasks successfully with ease and communicate to gain influence to experience greater success, you want to practice living in the moment beginning today. If you do, you will also experience greater self-esteem.

©Dorothy Wehunt and https://lifecoachwehunt.com 2019.

Release Feelings of Inadequacy

We want to know and feel we can reach our desired goals, express our opinions, and handle criticism, conflict and difficult situations to feel okay.

The negative feedback, verbal or nonverbal, one receives from parents, teachers, and peers, growing up sets the stage for feelings of adequacy. If a person receives put-downs or negative nonverbal, when she or he asks questions or gives his opinion, more than likely, the person experiences self-doubt. Thus, he experiences feelings of “not enough” and “not good enough.” Whether the person stops participating or speaking up in groups depends on the severity and consistency of the put-downs.

However, each of us has the power and right of choice and the freedom to choose. Then, each of us can choose our thoughts. Therefore, we do not have to accept the opinions of others. Choosing what we like and dislike – the food we eat, the style and color of clothes we wear, and movies we watch – helps one to release feelings of inadequacy and feel more capable.

Because we have the ability to think for ourselves, we can look at the tasks we perform each day in our personal and professional lives and what skills and abilities it takes to do them. Therefore, we can choose how we view our accomplishments and thus our qualities, strengths, abilities, and weaknesses based our assessment. Hence, we can decide what we believe about our capability and release feelings of inadequacy.

Since we can think and decide for ourselves, we can choose what task to pursue and how to pursue it to get the best results. We can decide what task to perform first to feel confident and to reach a goal on time

We can choose how we handle situations, whether we react or respond. If one reacts, one allows emotions to control one’s life. When you choose to respond, you put you in control of yourself and your emotions. You protect your dignity. You have taken care of yourself. Thus, you feel competent.

Think of the tasks you do at home and at work and the skills you use to complete them successfully. Be sure to include intangible skills such as determination and patience, which most tasks require. Consider how the things you do meet your daily, wants, and goals and how they benefit others. When you do this, you acknowledge the value of what you do, and thus realize your capability.  Thus, you release feelings of inadequacy.

Ask yourself, “What skills do I use doing these things that I can use to do something new or different?” If you expand the use of your skills to new and different tasks and situations, you strengthen your skills and develop new skills. Thus, you affirm your capability to you. You feel more capable and confident.

Moreover, we have the ability to choose to listen to our gut or inner voice. When you do, you know that you know. You know what you can do, not what others have told you that you can and cannot do. When you follow your inner wisdom, you trust yourself. You do not second guess yourself. Therefore, you feel enough.

©Dorothy Wehunt and https://lifecoachwehunt.com 2019

Want to Release Comparison

 

Comparing ourselves to others is  self-defeating. It cause us not to see our self as a separate person with individual strengths and abilities. Then, comparing our self to another person leads us to think that the other person has no faults and that we should be like that person. Therefore, this causes one ot feel less than and leads to self-criticism, which further undermines self-esteem.

We learned comparison from authority figures growing up, beginning with our parents comparing us with our siblings. Then, when we started to school, teachers expanded it comparing us to other students. Some may have continued to compare us with our siblings. We received messages such as, “Why don’t you?, Why can’t you?, or Why aren’t you?” Constant and continuous comparison led us to repeat the messages and believe them. Therefore, we habit of comparing ourselves with others.

Are any two people alike? Do identical twins have the same physical characteristics or personality? Each of us is born with certain natural abilities, and thus we perform tasks that call for them easier.

Then, if you discover you are comparing yourself with another person, you want to challenge the comparison by asking yourself, “Does the person I am comparing myself to have more training or experience than I do?” To compare a person who has less training or experience with another person who has more training or experience is unfair.

In addition, ask yourself, “Is this person performing to his potential? Am I doing my best”? Do you recall a fellow student in school growing up who the teachers considered gifted? Did he achieve at her or his potential? Did he go out in the world and perform at his potential? If a person is doing his best, although he has not reached his potential, he has excelled at a degree, which the other person has not.  Then if you are doing your best, why not give yourself credit for what you have achieved and are achieving?  

To stop comparing yourself to others, say to yourself, “I am not her or him. This is who I am.” Challenging the comparison separates you, where you begin and end, from the other person. Doing this demands that you know your strengths and abilities and your weaknesses.    

When we know we possess certain strengths and abilities and that they helped us to meet our goal(s), we feel worthwhile. When we realize the strength or versatility of our skills and abilities, we know what makes us unique and valuable to the world. There is no reason for comparison. 

If you would like to empower yourself and feel better about yourself, act to eliminate comparison.

©Dorothy Wehunt and https://lifecoachwehunt.com 2019.

8 Strategies to Assert Yourself Confidently

Assertiveness is a powerful form of communication that you can you can use to take care of yourself while building positive relationships. If you use it correctly and appropriately on a regular basis, you build self-esteem to the degree that you:

Express your needs and wants – If you ask for what you want using assertiveness, you are telling the other person, “I count” or “I matter.” Doing so is giving yourself respect. If the other person honors your request, you enhance your self-respect even more.

Stand up for yourself – When you stand up for yourself, you are protecting your rights or from taking advantage of you. Each of us has rights. Standing up for your rights is respecting yourself and showing others how to respect you.

Assert decisions – Taking action(s) to meet your needs and wants, reach your goals, and stand up for yourself is taking responsibility for your life.

Validate yourself – When you state your needs, wants, feelings, opinions, thoughts, or beliefs, and concerns to others, you affirm who you are.

Take control of your emotions – Express your needs and wants and say No to get them met and live by your values. Doing so prevents you from feelings of frustration, stress, bitterness, resentment, anger, etc., which leads to aggressive or negative behavior. You gain respect and gain or increase self-respect.

Protect yourself – Saying No to keep someone from taking advantage of you or rescuing you prevents you from becoming a victim. Expressing your strengths to affirm your competence in the workplace can protect your job. With sincere and honest words, you can handle criticism effectively to disarm it and affirm yourself to avoid internalizing the criticism. Using communication to own your feelings and perspectives, not to transfer or impose them on others, prevents external conflict and the associated stress. Expressing your needs, opinions, feelings, rights, etc. and saying no to meet your needs keeps you from beating up on yourself for not doing so.

Be true to yourself– Saying “Yes” and “No” to meet your needs and wants and live by your values is saying YES to yourself. It is living with integrity.

Bring balance to your life – Saying “Yes” and “No” brings stability and peace to your life. If you begin asserting yourself today, you will notice that you feel better about yourself.

©Dorothy Wehunt and https://lifecoachwehunt.com 2019.

7 Reasons to Become Self-Reliant

 

Self-Reliance is knowing you can stand on your own two feet. It is listening to your inner guidance or nudges, etc., rather than to others or external factors. When you are self-reliant, you believe you can do what you need to become successful and take care of yourself. Then, self-reliance is an essential component for developing high self-esteem and confidence.

With self-reliance, you:

Relinquish the need for approval – You know you have the strengths and abilities to achieve success. Therefore, you pursue your goals and expectations, not those of others. Now, you know you no longer need the approval of others.

Feel motivated –You feel capable or “feel enough.” Therefore, you do not need outside stimulation.

Overcome procrastination – Because you trust your abilities, you have the confidence to tackle new and different tasks. You begin.

Handle situations – When problems occur, you are able to look at each situation as it actually is — the issues, the facts, the conditions, the consequences, etc., not as you would like them to be, to find the right, positive, workable solution.

Release worry – Since you trust your strengths and abilities, you trust yourself to meet any challenges that might occur on your path to success. Thus, you feel in control.

Let go of feelings of helplessness – You no longer have to depend on others or on what they are willing to do and when they are willing to do it.

Protect yourself – Inner-directed, you know you can take care of yourself. Thus, you take responsibility for your inspiration, emotions and reactions, success, livelihood, peace and happiness. When you do, no one lets you down.

Gain self-reliance and increase your self-esteem and self-confidence and thus your success, peace, and happiness.

©Dorothy Wehunt and https://lifecoachwehunt.com 2019.