Many people feel comfortable in some situations and uncomfortable in others. Do you feel good about yourself wherever you are and with whomever you come in contact? Or are there some situations where you wish you felt more confident? If your answer to the latter is yes, you want to read ‘Why Choose High Self-Esteem,’ the first chapter of my book, Build Self-Esteem.
This chapter on ‘Why Choose High Self-Esteem’ explains why self-esteem is important to all areas of one’s life. In addition, the references and explanation given help people to see that having healthy self-esteem is good. Thus, they choose to make the decision to gain greater self-esteem.
When you were a child growing up, did your mother or father wake you up by gently shaking you and saying, “Rise up and Shine.”? If so, you probably knew that meant to pay attention to your teacher today, make good grades, and don’t get in trouble. So, you learned it meant, “Do your best.”
What are you telling yourself right now? Our self-talk, verbally or silently, empowers or disempowers us and thus builds or undermines one’s self-esteem and self-confidence. How does it do that? It determines our:
What we tell ourselves, about daily situations influence how we feel — sad or happy, worried or anxious, frustrated, or fearful. The thoughts we hold about our value as a person affect whether we feel we are worthy or worthwhile and deserving.
Many people allow fear of failure to keep them from their dream. Limiting self-talk around situations where they did not receive their desired results and negative feedback from others led to the fear of failure. How can one let go of fear of failure?
Make a conscious decision to set goals for the self-satisfaction of reaching them, not for just a paycheck. Doing so gives you a greater buy in for achieving success. You become committed to the goal achievement.
Integrity is an essential ingredient for self-esteem. Here are four ways to live with integrity and maintain your self-respect.
Know your truth.
Be honest with yourself about who you are — your strengths and weaknesses. This calls upon you to evaluate who you are sincerely and objectively. To do this, let go of the need to be perfect and give yourself credit for your successes, strengths, skills, talents, and abilities.
Self-esteem is how we feel about our self or our abilities and our worth. If one consistently feels okay or comfortable with who one is, or “feels enough,” on a daily basis and in different situations, he has high self-esteem. How can each of us have stable High Self-Esteem?
With self-awareness, we can be in tune with who we are – our likes, dislikes, needs, wants, strengths, weaknesses, accomplishments, beliefs and values.
Self-love is giving kindness, understanding, and encouragement to oneself and showing concern for oneself. It is giving yourself unconditional positive regard. Then to love yourself you want to:
Give yourself positive feedback.
The things we say to ourselves affects how we feel about ourselves. Self-talk determines whether we take action to pursue our goals or handle situations to take care of ourselves. To have positive self-talk requires that we make a conscious choice to do so.
“One of the most important keys to success is having the discipline to do what you know you should do, even when you don’t feel like doing it.” Unknown
Where do you want more self-discipline?
In what situation or area of your life do you want or need more self-discipline? Do you have an action you need to take for your business? Maybe you need to make five sales calls a day to reach your career goal or posts five times a day on social media to attract new followers to gain potential clients. On the other hand, is there a personal goal you would like to achieve, such as losing five pounds, reading one book every month or saving money for a house or your future?
Presence is a catalyst for task accomplishment and creating success. When we live in the present, we give our full attention to and engage in what is going on in the now. Doing so promotes task or goal achievement and successful outcomes. Each time we complete a task, we gain confidence in our capability and thus in our ability to reach our goals. We like ourselves. To create greater success, we want to take a closer look at the relationship between presence and our success and self-esteem.
We want to know and feel we can reach our desired goals, express our opinions, and handle criticism, conflict and difficult situations to feel okay.
The negative feedback, verbal or nonverbal, one receives from parents, teachers, and peers, growing up sets the stage for feelings of adequacy. If a person receives put-downs or negative nonverbal, when she or he asks questions or gives his opinion, more than likely, the person experiences self-doubt. Thus, he experiences feelings of “not enough” and “not good enough.” Whether the person stops participating or speaking up in groups depends on the severity and consistency of the put-downs.